It never goes away.
The anxiety that is.
You just get more used to it. More comfortable with it.
You accept it. Acknowledge it. Invite it to come play with you.
You can’t banish it, or exile it or leave it outside. Nothing can contain it.
So you allow it to exist.
The most difficult part is knowing that in order to overcome fear, you must be willing to face it dead on. There’s no way around it. It’s like exercise. Sure, you can get a lap band. But that ain’t gonna help you. You need to feel that anxious pain in the pit of your stomach. You need to feel those sweaty palms and swarming butterflies. You need to push past all that and just keep walking. The funny part is that the solution is so easy, so simple, so blindingly obvious. And yet we create these mountains of mental hurdles in order so that we don’t really face this fear.
Fear isn’t only what’s killing us. It’s not only what is keeping us isolated and afraid. Fear is what is keeping humanity from evolving into the best versions of ourselves.
If you’re like me then you know that struggling with this anxiety isn’t easy stuff. It’s depressive. Suicidal. And mean. You think your whole life revolves around not being able to achieve what you want because of it. It’s like some malignant disease or a cancerous tumor. You can’t see it, but oh how it weighs you down and holds you back.
Sometimes I think to myself if it’s possible that the greater the anxiety in a person, the more epic their unrealized vision is. Perhaps this is false expectation or narcissism or both. Or perhaps I just really want to believe that I have a greater purpose on this planet than stocking shelves or washing cars or taking orders.
I don’t want to believe that. I do believe that.
I think there are some of us on this planet whom the anxiety is hitting so strong that it forces us to radically re-examine our lives and re-define how we’re living. Hitting us with so much force that there’s no choice except to dive under and go deep. Real deep. Like to the parts of the ocean floor we’ve never seen before.
You must go forward. There is no turning back. People laugh at you because they are afraid. They’re simply releasing tension. That’s good. But this battle ain’t for them. This enemy won’t simply break your bones or slit your throat. This enemy will swallow you whole. Consume you alive so that you will be left blinking in the dark belly of a Beast where there are no walls or light switches to find your way out.
The only thing that will save you is becoming the greatest version of yourself.
Because truthfully, that’s who you really are.